36% of Women: The Statistic That Framed a Canarsie Dialogue

A conversation about abuse, faith, and survival took place in Canarsie on October 23.

Audrey Jackson, the mother of the late rapper Pop Smoke, hosted Dr. Carol Maraj, the mother of rapper Nicki Minaj, for an event called Café Conversations. The venue was Pop’s Place, a restaurant and event space that Jackson owns and has dedicated to her son. The two women discussed Maraj’s new book, Bruised But Not Broken.

The timing of the event aligned with Domestic Violence Awareness Month. According to the National Domestic Violence Hotline, approximately 36 percent of women and 29 percent of men experience some form of domestic violence from a partner. The data shows that 1 in 4 women and 1 in 7 men experience severe physical violence in their lifetime.

Maraj spoke about the origins of her trauma. She revealed that she first witnessed abuse when she was a young child. Her father hit her mother with a flashlight. Maraj said she saw him stand over her mother and choke her after she fell. She suppressed that memory for almost 40 years. Her siblings have stated that the incident did not happen, but the memory returned to her while she was writing her book.

The doctor described suffering from Stockholm Syndrome during the abuse. She explained that she felt sorry for her abuser after he performed nice acts for her. These acts included making dinner, bringing gifts, and apologizing for his wrongdoings. Her breaking point arrived when she was attacked at a party by her abuser. She nearly died during that encounter.

Maraj left Trinidad for America at age 29. She said that after settling in the United States, she was able to name her experience as domestic abuse. She built a new life for herself and her children by setting boundaries in her current relationships.

Jackson shared her own perspective on boundaries. She noted that her friends changed her view on having non-negotiables. Jackson said she previously believed that being an understanding person meant not drawing lines for others. She wanted people to know they could come in. She now views boundaries as a necessary nuance. She compared it to taking shoes off at the door before entering a home.

Jackson stated that she wanted to bring these conversations to the community. She aimed to create a safe space for different kinds of people to discuss these topics. The inaugural Café Conversations event brought attendees together to listen to the mothers’ experiences.

Dr. Carol Maraj’s book, Bruised But Not Broken, is available for purchase on her website, www.carolmaraj.com.